Facebook Love ~

The posts/comments like the one bellow always make me smile –

inside.

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A Land of Your Own Creation

Few weeks ago my very dear friend invited me to join her on a personal journey and introduced me to the various landscapes of her Land. I got to see the darkest corners and the shadows of shame and guilt. I felt how a very heavy secret feels and fell in Love with her even more. Be inspired to create your own Land, change and adjust the landscape so that you get more Sun than Rain, more laughter than sadness, more freedom than shame and guilt.. Breathe in deeply and read slowly ~


I have an eating disorder. I’ve been struggling with it for 11 years and I honestly don’t know when I will get better. At first, it was anorexia. The school was hell and home was a war zone, so feeling hungry seemed better than feeling nothing.

Now it’s overeating. I am empty inside so I fill it with food. As one lady said, “it’s like a hug from inside.”
I don’t have a life but I have extra 10 pounds round my waist. I don’t have a boyfriend but I have a cake. I don’t have time for friends but I have 24 hours for eating. I don’t travel to beautiful places abroad but I have my daily trips to Kiwi. I don’t have delicious dinners but I consume thousands and thousands of kcal of food that makes me sick. I don’t exercise, I just move to burn the late night snacks. I don’t socialize nor go out because I’m too busy chewing.

All I am is a girl with ED. All I feel is shame and guilt. All i want is to be free. And all I need is to be loved. I am at a crossroad now. The outside of my life is going well and I am afraid of screwing it up by not getting better. I have to make a choice that all junkies face sooner or later. The question is, will i choose life, or ED?“

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